Cimyogfom Lanflatster is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciless cow.

Cimyogfom Lanflatster created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimyogfom Lanflatster, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cimyogfom Lanflatster, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Cimyogfom Lanflatster's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cimyogfom Lanflatster's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

2. Retreat if six goats approach from the east.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Cimyogfom Lanflatster loves mice, so they must be honoured.