Vonkbugwig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, astonishing mole.

Vonkbugwig created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbugwig, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vonkbugwig, she will come to you in dreams.

Vonkbugwig's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Vonkbugwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near rats while wearing red skirts and balancing five zinc spheres on your face.

4. Never run in the presence of shrews.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.