Vonkvanhat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, sage goose.

Vonkvanhat created the Sombrero Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkvanhat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vonkvanhat, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vonkvanhat's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Vonkvanhat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Feed all hungry turtles.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Vonkvanhat must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never feed turnips to capybaras while wearing turquoise skirts.