Waptonkfad Yarlbifnartyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a large, vain bat.

Waptonkfad Yarlbifnartyarl created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Waptonkfad Yarlbifnartyarl, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Waptonkfad Yarlbifnartyarl, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Waptonkfad Yarlbifnartyarl's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Waptonkfad Yarlbifnartyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snakes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never sprint near goats.