Ominlakflat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, awe-inspiring dryad.

Ominlakflat created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominlakflat, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ominlakflat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ominlakflat's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Ominlakflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near manatees while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing seven iron spheres on your feet.

2. Erect three zinc sculptures of Ominlakflat on top of important buildings.

3. Always obey Ominlakflat's priests.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near capybaras while wearing indigo dresses and balancing five gold spheres on your legs.

5. Run away if six snails approach from the east.