Kappadsis is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, moody scorpion.

Kappadsis created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kappadsis, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kappadsis, it will boil you in a big pot.

Kappadsis' most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Kappadsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near badgers while wearing green jumpers and balancing eight titanium spheres on your arms.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.