Larpnurdaveg Milrakhim is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, contented octopus.

Larpnurdaveg Milrakhim created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Larpnurdaveg Milrakhim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Larpnurdaveg Milrakhim, he will turn you into a rat.

Larpnurdaveg Milrakhim's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Larpnurdaveg Milrakhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Feed all hungry shrews.

5. Put Larpnurdaveg Milrakhim first in all things.