Quamcanlop is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, contented squirrel.

Quamcanlop created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamcanlop, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quamcanlop, she will turn you into a slug.

Quamcanlop's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Quamcanlop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near dogs while wearing gray tights and balancing six zinc spheres on your chest.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Quamcanlop in the centre of the settlement.