Teenyikbig is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody jackal.

Teenyikbig created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Teenyikbig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Teenyikbig, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Teenyikbig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Teenyikbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Teenyikbig's name in vain.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. You must never eat parsnips.

4. Teenyikbig loves moths, so they must be honoured.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Teenyikbig on top of all buildings.