Cabfunjabzenjam is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless
dove.
Cabfunjabzenjam created Africa three million years ago.
If you believe in
Cabfunjabzenjam, he will give you a free moon.
If you do not believe in
Cabfunjabzenjam, he will turn you into a mole.
Cabfunjabzenjam's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.
Cabfunjabzenjam's Holy Commandments1. Do not drink alcohol.
2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.
3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Cabfunjabzenjam in the centre of the settlement.
4. Never write about galaxies.
5. Never feed limes to moths while wearing boots.