Quaftikort is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid jaguar.

Quaftikort created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quaftikort, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quaftikort, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quaftikort's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Quaftikort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always obey Quaftikort's priests.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.