Gidvenfem is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, effective spider.

Gidvenfem created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidvenfem, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gidvenfem, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gidvenfem's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gidvenfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Gidvenfem on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near mites while wearing magenta trousers and balancing four silver spheres on your head.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.