Funnulbamfobtap is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, blissful faun.

Funnulbamfobtap created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funnulbamfobtap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Funnulbamfobtap, he will turn you into a mouse.

Funnulbamfobtap's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Funnulbamfobtap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to great tits while wearing stockings.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Run away from blue shrews, for they are unholy.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Feed all hungry rats.