Xemwonxemzodnellpakvenmat is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, vain lizard.

Xemwonxemzodnellpakvenmat created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Xemwonxemzodnellpakvenmat, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xemwonxemzodnellpakvenmat, he will cry a lot.

Xemwonxemzodnellpakvenmat's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Xemwonxemzodnellpakvenmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Never feed nuts to voles while wearing shirts.

3. Worship no other gods but Xemwonxemzodnellpakvenmat.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.