Motgemsas is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, humorless tortoise.

Motgemsas created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Motgemsas, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Motgemsas, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Motgemsas' most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Motgemsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near dolphins while wearing mauve hats and balancing five titanium spheres on your neck.

2. Never laugh in the presence of voles.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not hurt swans.

5. Do not covet oxen.