Labmipmeg Nigzanortnab is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, wise lion.

Labmipmeg Nigzanortnab created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labmipmeg Nigzanortnab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Labmipmeg Nigzanortnab, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Labmipmeg Nigzanortnab's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Labmipmeg Nigzanortnab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Labmipmeg Nigzanortnab in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Never think about dark matter.