Zodgemtail is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, temperamental bird.

Zodgemtail created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodgemtail, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zodgemtail, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zodgemtail's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Zodgemtail's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about optics near cats while wearing green shoes and balancing three silicon spheres on your face.

5. Never look at asteroids.