Yatwikfem is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, conceited jackal.

Yatwikfem created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatwikfem, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yatwikfem, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yatwikfem's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Yatwikfem's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not take Yatwikfem's name in vain.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near ants while wearing cyan shorts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your back.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Fast once a month.