Gatzedlip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, resourceful penguin.

Gatzedlip created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatzedlip, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gatzedlip, it will turn you into a sheep.

Gatzedlip's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Gatzedlip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism.

4. Always help sick birds.

5. Do not hurt swans.