Timlenbarn is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, selfish naga.

Timlenbarn created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Timlenbarn, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Timlenbarn, it will throw large rocks at you.

Timlenbarn's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Timlenbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Whales are not to be trusted.

5. Feed all hungry ducks.