Lopbengum Hatdisslarp is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, effective giraffe.

Lopbengum Hatdisslarp created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopbengum Hatdisslarp, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lopbengum Hatdisslarp, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lopbengum Hatdisslarp's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Lopbengum Hatdisslarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention nematodes.

2. Never sprint in the presence of cats.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.