Banladkin is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, pitiless monkey.

Banladkin created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Banladkin, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Banladkin, she will cry a lot.

Banladkin's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Banladkin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Always help sheep.

3. Do not keep nine otters in a large pit.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Banladkin.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.