Dabsityartmigstragfon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind troll.

Dabsityartmigstragfon created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Dabsityartmigstragfon, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dabsityartmigstragfon, he will have a low opinion of you.

Dabsityartmigstragfon's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Dabsityartmigstragfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dolphins.

2. Never think ill of sick moths.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Run away from pink hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. You must pray to Dabsityartmigstragfon nine times a day.