Bassvegcumfunbidpit Tonkkipcet Cinrawpig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, sage jackal.

Bassvegcumfunbidpit Tonkkipcet Cinrawpig created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassvegcumfunbidpit Tonkkipcet Cinrawpig, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bassvegcumfunbidpit Tonkkipcet Cinrawpig, he will send you a sign.

Bassvegcumfunbidpit Tonkkipcet Cinrawpig's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bassvegcumfunbidpit Tonkkipcet Cinrawpig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.