Vablogzig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, happy monkey.

Vablogzig created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vablogzig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vablogzig, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Vablogzig's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vablogzig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never look in ponds.