Zagmabrip Donflowsig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented grasshopper.

Zagmabrip Donflowsig created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagmabrip Donflowsig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zagmabrip Donflowsig, she will boil you in a big pot.

Zagmabrip Donflowsig's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Zagmabrip Donflowsig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never wear purple kilts.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Never talk about ants.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.