Dutmonstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate faun.

Dutmonstrag created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutmonstrag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dutmonstrag, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Dutmonstrag's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Dutmonstrag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Dutmonstrag on top of all buildings.

4. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

5. Feed all hungry doves.