Bapspagtitfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered shrew.

Bapspagtitfeb created the Sunflower Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapspagtitfeb, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bapspagtitfeb, she will have a low opinion of you.

Bapspagtitfeb's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bapspagtitfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bapspagtitfeb on top of all buildings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never bounce near birds.