Barntablip is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, amazing walrus.

Barntablip created the Tadpole Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Barntablip, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Barntablip, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Barntablip's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Barntablip's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention goats.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Barntablip.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not hurt whales.