Gomquattar is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, contented wren.

Gomquattar created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomquattar, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gomquattar, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Gomquattar's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Gomquattar's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest black.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Do not cook food in pots.