Bitrullzod Titshavrakbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a large, grumpy walrus.

Bitrullzod Titshavrakbiss created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bitrullzod Titshavrakbiss, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bitrullzod Titshavrakbiss, he will turn you into a snail.

Bitrullzod Titshavrakbiss' most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Bitrullzod Titshavrakbiss' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bitrullzod Titshavrakbiss six times a day.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bitrullzod Titshavrakbiss.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not eat nuts.

5. Fast once a month.