Bumtigflat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, confident meerkat.

Bumtigflat created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumtigflat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bumtigflat, he will turn you into a mole.

Bumtigflat's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bumtigflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never go into fawn rooms.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bumtigflat.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Do not stand on grass.