Tarladkantigciplikbosstin is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, prudent gorilla.

Tarladkantigciplikbosstin created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarladkantigciplikbosstin, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tarladkantigciplikbosstin, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Tarladkantigciplikbosstin's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tarladkantigciplikbosstin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never eat onions.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.