Standimgemjip Hunkemlap is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, sage unicorn.

Standimgemjip Hunkemlap created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Standimgemjip Hunkemlap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Standimgemjip Hunkemlap, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Standimgemjip Hunkemlap's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Standimgemjip Hunkemlap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Never talk about badgers.