Hatcunfon is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, dishonest butterfly.

Hatcunfon created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Hatcunfon, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hatcunfon, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hatcunfon's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Hatcunfon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five ducks approach from the east.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat cherries.

5. Hide from black sheep for they are unholy.