Bonnartomin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, idiotic chinchilla.

Bonnartomin created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonnartomin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bonnartomin, she will not invite you to parties.

Bonnartomin's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bonnartomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Run away from black pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never laugh in the presence of bats.