Fumflamgod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, weak fly.

Fumflamgod created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumflamgod, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumflamgod, he will have a low opinion of you.

Fumflamgod's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fumflamgod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair yellow.

2. Retreat if nine moths approach from the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near doves while wearing pink skirts.

5. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.