Negnarquag is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-assured frog.

Negnarquag created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Negnarquag, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Negnarquag, she will torture you forever.

Negnarquag's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Negnarquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Negnarquag.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never hop in the presence of monkeys.

5. Respect your elders.