Hakfatnilvagviglop is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, effective pigeon.

Hakfatnilvagviglop created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakfatnilvagviglop, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hakfatnilvagviglop, he will come to you in dreams.

Hakfatnilvagviglop's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Hakfatnilvagviglop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. You must never eat peas.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Never think ill of sick great tits.

5. Never write about fluid mechanics.