Tamyargam is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, thoughtless crow.

Tamyargam created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamyargam, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tamyargam, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tamyargam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tamyargam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never feed cherries to dolphins while wearing corsets.