Carfigcin is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, astonishing salamander.

Carfigcin created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Carfigcin, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Carfigcin, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Carfigcin's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Carfigcin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Carfigcin on top of all buildings.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.