Fligwapcud is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, moody hyena.

Fligwapcud created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fligwapcud, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fligwapcud, he will turn you into a tree.

Fligwapcud's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Fligwapcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Never feed lots of cucumbers to sharks while wearing brown shorts.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. You must never eat corn.