Mettagjamhud is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unjust lizard.

Mettagjamhud created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mettagjamhud, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mettagjamhud, she will destroy your favourite star.

Mettagjamhud's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Mettagjamhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always help mice in need.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never leap in holy places.