Narwaddad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic mink.

Narwaddad created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narwaddad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Narwaddad, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Narwaddad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Narwaddad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Run away if five tortoises approach from the north.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never paint your arms orange.