Damcitflab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, flying newt.

Damcitflab created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damcitflab, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Damcitflab, it will boil you in a big pot.

Damcitflab's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Damcitflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mice.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Damcitflab.

4. Always help horses.

5. Always pray immersed in water.