Jarnbenshav is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, competent hamster.

Jarnbenshav created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbenshav, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jarnbenshav, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Jarnbenshav's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Jarnbenshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always help sick ducks.