Vonvabtof is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, proud dryad.

Vonvabtof created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonvabtof, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Vonvabtof, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vonvabtof's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Vonvabtof's Holy Commandments

1. Vonvabtof loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Worship no other gods but Vonvabtof.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity.

5. Respect your elders.