Cussfumhas is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, narcissistic bear.

Cussfumhas created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cussfumhas, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cussfumhas, he will send you a sign.

Cussfumhas' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Cussfumhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Do not listen to music.