Doggencap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart goblin.

Doggencap created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Doggencap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Doggencap, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Doggencap's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Doggencap's Holy Commandments

1. Doggencap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never write about solid mechanics.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not listen to music.