Labgebmap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, overgenerous turtle.

Labgebmap created gold eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labgebmap, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Labgebmap, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Labgebmap's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Labgebmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention badgers.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Labgebmap on top of all buildings.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Hide from black swans for they are unholy.

5. Never eat aubergines.